I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
