So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
