Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
