Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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