she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
