I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
