thus making me awesome and them whores
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
