KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
