to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
