one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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