so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
