Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
