I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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