How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
