So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
