I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
