There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
