I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
