I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
