Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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