i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
