Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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