trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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