I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
