My liver just broke up with me...
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You took a bar mat shot.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
