So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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