Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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