remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
