Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
