having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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