They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
