Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Can I color on your dick again?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
