I bet he comes in French.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
