Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
