DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
