You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
