That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
