i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
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