your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
