The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
