i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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