no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
