I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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