Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
