I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
