WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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