I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
