i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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