heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
