After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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