I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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