Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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