He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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