Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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